My Husband

I am signed up on Facebook now and keep up there pretty well- even a bit better than email now. Last week I was serving on a jury in a civil case between an ex-husband and wife with the claim of a really bad marriage that included lots of not nice things. In Facebook you have a "status" line to tell people your current status, and I put that I had an excellent marriage and a wonderful husband after coming home each night from this trial. I thought it would be worth while copying what I wrote there here so everyone can know where I am at in my marriage and in relation to my husband.

So My Husband:
Let me tell you about my husband.

1. My husband does not yell at me. Even when he's frustrated he never yells. He never puts me down but is encouraging. He often tells me I've done a great job, or cooked a great meal, or sewn a quilt that should be entered into the fair (though I know it's not fair quality!). He says thank-you, please, could you, let's, and so on. Never "you will!"

2. My husband does not hit me. I think if anyone tried to hit me I think he may beat them to a pulp, but never would hit/push/whack me. My husband is protective of me and all my female friends- and not in the scary overbearing way, but the long lost chivalrous way we all miss. No hitting with hands, food, golf clubs, garden tools, or anything else. He caresses, kisses, gives back rubs, hugs, noogies, and all the good ways of touch a husband and wife should enjoy.

3. My husband does not control me. Anyone who knows me or my husband knows that one! He would never tell me what to do, or say something as ridiculous as "you made me do that" when he messes up. I go out with friends and if I'm late coming home he just laughs and knows I got talking longer than I expected. If I want to go out for a drive or on an adventure he wants to come along, not because he wants to control me, but because he likes to be with me and wants to come on my adventures.

4.My husband works a job he hates because it's the right thing for us right now. His boss is mean and is never happy with what anyone does. She tells everyone they have to do her things first before they do things for anyone else, even when the other peoples things are more important. When TJ leaves work at night he's tired from the physical piece of his job, but more tired from being emotionally beat up all day. But he knows that for us, he'll have to keep this job till he's almost done with school next year- and to me that shows love and commitment to me and our marriage!

5. My husband has faith in God, and encourages me in my faith. TJ came to accept Christ only about 6 months before we met. He's not the typical Christian one might expect, but his faith is real. If I'm worrying about something he'll remind me that God is in control and I need to trust God. He won't do something just because that's what we do as "Christians," but will do something if he can see plain proof in the Bible that's what we should do. It's amazingly refreshing to me and was one of the things that I was attracted to early in our relationship. Those of you here who know him know just what I mean!

6. My husband is loyal. He is married to me for life, end of story. If he makes a true friend that friend is his friend for life. He will stick up for his friends, sacrifice for his friends, defend his friends, and generally do whatever he can for them if he feels they really need something. He is very black and white: a friend needs real help, we must help them. Yet I know that I come first in his life and like our pastor told us in our marriage ceremony, our marriage comes first and our relationship comes first. TJ is uber-loyal to us!

7. My husband is above reproach. I'm going to make this one short and give only one example of what I mean. TJ is in school to become a diesel technician (with the hope to fix John Deer tractors one day). At school he has girls hit on him. In his last class, the overt advances from one girl (who I might add knew he was married) became so bad he told her if she ever said anything like that to him again he'd go to the dean and report her. The Bible tells us to flee temptation, and that's just what he does, over and over again.

8. My husband is kind to animals and children, and both are attracted to him. Now you may laugh at this one, but if you ever meet a guy who is not run quick the other way! If someone is mean to animals or children there is a dark spot in their heart that needs to be cleansed. TJ is great with all animals, and as we've hung around kids more I've found that while he may not have much experience with them they like him and feel safe and comfortable around him. I think that in and of itself speaks oodles to who he is as a person.

I could keep going, but I think this gives you a good idea of how my claim of having a good husband & marriage is substantiated. Is our marriage perfect? Is my husband perfect? Am I perfect? Is this life perfect? No to all. But I believe what TJ is quite fond of saying, "if we glorify God our marriage will take care of itself." As we grow in our relationship with God, the great Father and Husband will show us further how to love each other as he loved us, and will lead us in all good things.